I just walked in the door from seeing the film, "The Fault in Our Stars." Like, literally just walked through the door. All I've done so far since being home has been to take off my signature shrug and black flats and sat down at the computer. Because I have some thoughts. Not on the quality of the movie, though I am extremely pleased that it was excellent. Instead, the film left me thinking of different things, which, frankly, I did not expect. It should surprise no one that The Fault in Our Stars is one of my favorite novels. I've written about it just on here numerous times. I've read the text and listened to the audiobook so often I've lost track. I thought I knew the story. I thought I'd gleaned everything from the narrative that I was ever going to. This, it turns out, was not actually the case.
The main message the film left me with was one of the necessity of acknowledging what is beautiful about your life. For a long time, I was not thankful for my life, I didn't value it or see its worth. But it has value. I have been so lucky. I have loved and been loved so deeply, by so many. At 23, I have seen beauty, felt loss, and experienced joy that I realize is incredibly hard to come by. If everything were to end tomorrow, I would be genuinely happy with what I have had.
That being said, there is still so much more I want. I want to grow roots. I want to teach, and I have the audacity to want to change lives. I want to fall in love, share a life, and build a family. I want what I have been privileged enough to have to be a foundation, not the whole structure.
This seems like a fitting enough final post to this blog-thing: I started this as a way to chronicle my life abroad, and it has been a repository of thoughts for me during the single biggest transition period and time of personal transformation so far.
And it has been, and continues to be, a good life.