Sunday, May 15, 2011

Minnesota Is Sexy

When people hear I'm from Minnesota, they usually look very confused, and I think this happens for a few different reasons. 1) I live in New Hampshire and go to school in Connecticut. It literally does not make sense to people, apparently, to be from one area of the country and live currently in another. (I've gotten the question "Why Connecticut?" so many freaking times. The only answer I want to give is "Well why the hell not?") 2) If people have any expectations of the midwest at all (and many just don't), they think of endless farms, thick accents, and a society about lagging about ten years behind the rest of the country. 3) "Where? Honestly, I don't even know where that is."

And while I mostly resent these questions and stereotypes, I have to admit Minnesota can be pretty hilarious, and my life there was actually pretty rampant in cliches that I can't even fight.

-The mother of a teammate I had once, who happened to grow up in South Dakota (where there's even less of anything than there is in Minnesota) explained to me how she, and many of her childhood friends, got drivers' licenses at about age 12... so they could drive tractors.

-The Minnesota State Fair, a very big deal in the state, includes not only an entire arena filled with show livestock, but also holds an annual sculpture contest... where the material used is butter. Think I'm kidding? Hardly.

And oh yeah, that second one is the bust of the winner of a local beauty pageant. Yep, one of the perks of winning the yearly pageant is getting your face carved into some quality, fresh Minnesotan butter.

-Here's a nice little anecdote from my own history- About five years ago I was supposedly planning on going to the Sadie Hawkins dance with one of my good guy friends. (I say "supposedly" because I have very little recollection of this happening. But people say it did, so I'm going with it. I mean, I think I would remember. I liked this guy a lot for a long time. Always will a little, probably. He's hot. But ANYWAY.) We actually didn't end up going together because... he went hunting with his dad instead. So I was ditched for the chance to sit in 7 degree weather for twelve hours, some camouflage pants, and the possibility of a few dead deer. Look me in the face and tell me that's not hilarious.

-While I've only seen "Drop Dead Gorgeous" once in my life, I've heard that movie is where a lot of people get their information on life in Minnesota from. And even I'd love to say "That Minnesota is not where I lived," I can't. The main town in the film is "Mount Rose" and one the towns that neighbored my own was "Rosemount." And you know what? The town is filled with farms. True facts.

-One of my former teammates picked the number 7 for her uniform just because that is Joe Mauer's number for the Twins, and he is a sexy, sexy man.
COME ON. This guy is pretty much a god for Minnesotan women.

Also, this guy is new to the Twins and kind of... just look.

-Despite not really being a part of "the west" or "the south," there still exists a strong love of country music in Minnesota. I mean, "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" played at EVERY SINGLE school dance I ever attended, and I sang along to "God Bless the Broken Road" into my date's shoulder during prom. I still hold strong to this love that was established there, and two of the three pre-set stations in my car right now are country stations. I might have even audibly gasped when I found the second station while browsing. I didn't think more than one existed in the entire region of New England, let alone New Hampshire.

-I've been to the Spam museum. That's a real thing that exists. And you know what? I LIKED it.

I guess everyone's hometown has its own weird and embarassing stuff. These are just mine.

Oh, and that second one? Yeah, that's me stuck in a snowbank. This is my life.

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