Monday, June 6, 2011

I'm a Liar

Growing up with a fairly mischievous sister, I had to learn how to lie early in life. When we were young, it was a constant battle of "it doesn't matter who did it, but who gets in trouble for it." Being the younger of the two, I had cuteness on my side, and I quickly learned to work with that and then grow into a pretty well-developed liar.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not that person who lies to make trouble, or does it to get attention. I've known that person. I don't want to be them. They're no fun. Don't invite them to your parties.
No, with me it's more of a "Oh, you actually believe me when I say ridiculous things? Ok let's run with this."
Example time, kids. Brace yourselves. No seriously. Grab that table in front of you and brace yourselves.
My good friend from school once posted a video on my Facebook wall of a clip from a British comedy show, where they were making fun of a stupid Minnesotan law, regarding the illegality of having sexual relations with fish. I knew she was enjoying mocking my home state (it's a favorite pasttime of hers when we're together), so I told her, "haha the weird thing is, someone actually did that ("that" being... you know) and a small news story went around about it during my freshman year... i can't really defend my state right now." I never expected her to believe me. But she did, and she was adequately disgusted. I suppose that kind of correlates with my last post about people's (disturbing) expectations of the midwest, but I digress.
Another ongoing example I'm actually using this medium to fess up about is this:
I have a friend of mine convinced I know Steven Segal and his family. The story behind this started with just a video of Segal's new energy drink being shared with me. It was of low quality, and I told my friend so, saying, "this was just filmed in his backyard. I should know, I've been there." Now, this was a joke. I never in my life expected anyone to accept that as true. But, bless his heart, my friend did. So this began as an innocent conversation about nothing in particular, but ended with me being close friends with the Segal family. I suppose it's a compliment, that someone thinks I'm cool and connected enough to know solid B-list celebrities. But now I have to confess- this is actually not the case.
Boy I hope he's not mad.
I think the moral to this story might be to just never believe anything I say, ever. Maybe everything I've ever written on this blog is a lie. Perhaps I've never been to London and didn't grow up in Minnesota. Maybe I'm behind you RIGHT NOW.

I'm not, though.

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