Monday, July 25, 2011

I'm Embarassing

So recently, a very good friend of mine named GREG THOMPSON posted a video on his youtube account, during which he showed, to the entire internet, an extremely embarassing picture of myself. While I do not think I deserved this (even if I lied to him and forced him to make up stories to tell to his favorite radio DJ's), I have since recovered from the trauma. I'm even embracing it, and am presenting to the world some more embarassing pictures of myself through the years, along with some hopefully charming stories to accompany them.

I have previously stated on this blog that I once visited the Spam museum (in Austin, MN) and thoroughly enjoyed it. Well, here is proof. Notice the Valentine's Day shirt when it was nowhere near February, and the jeans embossed with vines and flowers. I do believe I painted those myself. I loved those jeans in middle school. And yes, that is Spam's mascot, and yes, if someone were standing on the other side it might look like he was trying to cop a feel.

Now this picture is less embarassing as it is dated. Let's discuss it. This was my first day of high school, and my sister's first day of her Junior year. She has her retainer in, for some reason. The poor girl had braces put on one of the few days before middle school started, and got them taken off the day after middle school ended. Tragic. Now this haircute combined with my glasses cuase two of my guy friends to call me "Velma" for a few months because I looked like the nerdy girl from Scooby Doo. I hated it then, but in retrospect, I see they had a valid point. And those are vhs tapes on those shelves. So many vhs tapes. This was only 2005. WHAT. And random fact, but that painting of houses behind us happens to be one of the only things we left behind in Minnesota, which is sad because I liked it a lot. And now you know. If you had moved into my old house, you would have inherited that picture. Too bad you didn't.
Ok. This picture has different levels of embarassment. Let's start with the obvious. I took this myself, on a crappy, low-tech digital camera that took pictures in weird dimensions. I don't know what prompted me to take a picture of myself in the bathroom, staring at the camera through my fingers, which were encased in my fingerless gloves. But those aren't regular fingerless gloves. I was especially excited for those specific gloves because I needed them for marching band rehearsals. You see, autumn in Minnesota, especially after the sun goes down, is freaking freezing. This specific fall when this picture was taken was especially brutal. And unfortunately, clarinet players can't wear regular gloves because the keys and holes won't be covered properly (snicker). Hence, fingerless gloves for marching band. Which were actually pretty pointless because my fingers froze anyway. Which just makes this picture even more ridiculous.This one is more subtley embarassing. It was taken before the Homecoming dance my senior year, while we were having dinner at my friend's house. As you can see here, I'm obviously in the middle of and committed to telling an anecdote while gesticulating crazily. And on the left is one my very best friends and on the right is what would become my boyfriend less than a week after this was taken. These people like me. And it is quite apparent they have no interest at all in what I am saying. My date was very intent on eating his meal while only using a small cheese knife (which was a game the moms put together for us). I suppose that's more embarassing for him. But then again, I'm the one who dated him for eight months.

But then again again, he dated ME. Hmm. It's a draw.

So there it is, world. Get at me. I'm in on the joke.

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